Time takes time ...

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 17:23:00 GMT

So, my day just got a whole lot funnier. I submit to you, the greatest fact ever revealed in an autobiography:

Something that makes life worth living!

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 22:35:00 GMT

Instead of figuring out how to curb the spread of global guerilla warfare or brainstorming a conclusion to our never-ending Iraq adventure, the CIA is spending time developing logos. Branding, if you will. And I'd like to share with you their most recent achievement. With your help, this logo below can help button up the victory in our War on Terror.

I ain't afraid of no, jihad!

Random, and yet...

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:43:42 GMT

If I hear someone fucking say "Manny being Manny" one more time, I will fucking lose it.

I love Manny. I think he's great. If here on the Giants I'd root for him up and down, scream when he takes a leak behind a scoreboard door, and I'd defend him when he says stupid shit. Like he did yesterday.

When asked about the possibility of losing and being eliminated from the playoffs, the erstwhile bombarder had this to say: "We're just going to go play the game, and move on. If it doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like the end of the world or something."

Now, I don't think this is terribly egregious. It's not all together untrue. Baseball is not life. The Earth will keep spinning if the Red Sox lose tonight. However, it's still a bitch thing to say. And it reveals the mentality of someone who is comfortable settling for 2nd best. Which is fine, he's got his ring.

But for ESPN to defend Manny the way they do is revolting. Up there in New England they'll slobber Manny's bone all day every day, and they don't care. Even this, in my estimation is fine. However, if it were Barry Bonds saying this. Or Gary Sheffield. Or even Alex Rodriguez. If it were anyone but Manny, on any team but the Bristol, CT Red Sox, ESPN would murder them. Imagine, honestly, if Bonds had said this exact quote. It'd be the bloodbath of the year! "Barry's never had a good attitude," or, "He's always cared about money more than winning," and, "Barry Bonds raped my daughter with his steroid shriveled penis!"

And honestly- what does, "Manny being Manny" even mean? HONESTLY!?!? What the fuck does it mean? It means, "Manny can do whatever he wants." And they're just saying it and saying it and saying on ESPN.

What I'm saying is this: Manny doesn't suck, but he's fucking crazy. ESPN just straight-up sucks.

ESPN is also pissed off at Jimmy Kimmel for making fun on of how lame Joe Theisman was on Monday Night Football. Sheesh, are they pissed off at the rest of the United States of America for hating ol' elastic leg too?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 16:23:32 GMT

I know this is old news by a couple days, but I'm just getting my excitement boner going.

NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!
NEW RADIOHEAD!!!

http://www.inrainbows.com/Store/index3.html

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!

Why, WHY do I have to be so broke right now? I must have the limited edition package. But, get this, if you download the album you pay what you want. Yes, you name your own price. You could pay $5. So, that's what I'm, obviously, going to have to do. Until I can save up the coinage to get that damn Discbox.

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 19:46:50 GMT

As a side note:

How many times can a person check their e-mail in one day? When I keep doing it, I just feel like a lab animal in some experiment, and my overlords are noting each and every time I check, saying things like, "Hmmmm, interesting," under their breath. When, in fact, there is nothing interesting at all about it.

Fun side note: I'm looking for a modern comedic monologue. Thoughts?

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 19:44:34 GMT

OH MY GOD I AM SO FUCKING BORED!

GAH!!!!!

AAAARGH!!!!

OH MY GOD I AM SO GODDAMN BORED!

I'M SO BORED!

OH MY GOD!

I'm so bored I can feel my soul being silently sucked away from me, flying over the empty darkness into some soul-trappers sickly devised net. What has become of my life? I spend most of my waking hours doing absolutely nothing. No wonder I feel like a worthless blob.

My GOD the boredom. The fucking boredom. It's such a shame that rent can't be paid in songs or wishes, 'cause I've got plenty of those and I don't have to sit in front of a computer screen 40 hours a week to earn them.

FUCKING BORING!

I'm sorry, I'm very sorry that other people might read this. But I am seriously on the verge of madness, like falling off the cliff into a cespool of mediocrity. I am that fucking bored and dispirited with my task for the next 4 hours.

Can you die of boredom? Like- literally- die? Your brain-soul-heart just realize there is no purpose for them in your daily life so they just leave you and quite and die? Possible? Or merely my fantasy.

Also, coincidentally, I'm bored.

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 23:41:41 GMT

"I want you to know that I spend so much time in the world that is spinning, all the time, that to be in the No Spin Zone actually gives me vertigo."

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 15:22:55 GMT

Alberto "Abu" Gonzales resigned!

Abu Gonzales resgined!

Alberto "I torture people and protect the President from the rule of law" Gonzales is gone!

I'm so goddamn happy. So, so happy.

Granted they'll probably replace him with a demon rapist from hell who'll be even worse for our country, but....

Abu Ghraib Gonzales is GONE, GONE, GONE!

I'm so happy.

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 16:59:42 GMT

I would be really, really happy if Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse both died at their own hands. They make me sick. Seriously. And then cable news shows could stop pretending to cover actual news and just go for a month-long orgy of coverage about stars who, "Had It All," but then, "Threw It All Away." Guess what- neither of these two stupid idiots had it all. All they had was a complete lack of self-respect, accountability, and personal responsibility. If they have all the means in the world to help themselves and choose not to- fuck 'em. I hope they die. And they will, I'd bet. I just hope they don't take innocent people out with them (e.g. - driving over 100 MPH while drunk and on coke).

Also, Jamie Foxx is a fucking moron who said the whole hoopla over Mike Vick is because he didn't read the handbook of what black celebs are allowed to do. Excuse me? PETA gets a wild hair up their ass over a goddamn field mouse getting sneezed on, they are equal opportunity offendees. And guess what- killing 60 dogs is really fucked up, no matter what part of the country it took place in or the color of the person pulling the trigger... or throwing the electric switch, or hanging the dog from a tree. Here's an idea for Jamie Foxx: Shut the fuck up and go back to impersonating people and calling it 'acting.' Piece of shit.

I'm angry. Is it the weekend yet?

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 17:01:39 GMT

Unreal, blow your brain out, mind-fuck of the day:

Too fucking insane to be believed and yet it's real.

Read it. It's short and worth it.

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 23:36:12 GMT

This is some of the funniest, fucking, shit I have ever seen in my life. You know if Tucker Carlson is involved the opportunity for comedy is, indeed, rife:

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:02:08 GMT

On a totally non-political, the world is going to end (hooray!) note:

Visit this website http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_nf_vote/

AND VOTE FOR AMY! VOTE FOR AMY! If you ever watch food network, you owe it to yourself to vote for Amy. If I have to see Rory's toothy grin on Food Network after next Sunday, I'll barf.

Visit: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_nf_vote/

Vote Amy. Please. I beg you. If you love me, you'll vote for her.

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:29:18 GMT

Who wants to storm the Capitol with me?

I'm serious, this shit is scary. Start clearing your calendar for protest dates now, like for serious.

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 21:28:10 GMT

Ever seen a hate monger up close?

I'm telling you, click the link. It'll blow your mind.

How long as WaPo sbeen sitting on this...

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:18:10 GMT

Read this really interesting article if you want a glimpse of how "progress" is being made in Iraq.

Ya know- never in my life did I see myself being this politically engaged. In high school if you'd told me I'd be ranting and raving, e-mailing Senators and newspaper editors, about a corrupt Republican president... I'd have said you were nuts. More accurately I probably would have called you a, "fucking idiot." (Boy oh BOY I used to love swearing!) But everyday I come to work, read the news, and just feel outrage. I can only express what I feel to be right and what I know to be true. And somehow, those truths are now the exact opposite of what I used to believe. Very strange. I'd feel like one of those "left-wing Commie defeatists" if only for the fact that SEVENTY-SEVEN PERCENT of American feels just like I do.

Remember that the next time someone calls you an "element of the far left" for wanting to end the War in Iraq. SEVENTY-SEVEN PERCENT of America, then, is an element of the far left. God make it so.

The ship is really sinking....

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:32:26 GMT

...but the damage done to our country is so vast.

Segregation Now, Segregation Forever?

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 16:21:30 GMT

Bye, bye Brown v. Board of Ed.

Thing just keep getting worse, and worse folks. At what point does one with a conscience seriously consider moving out of the country that has reared them? This country has abandoned everything that made it great, everything that made it a beacon for achieving the infinite within all of us. Now? Now it's ignorant, closed-off, and reactionary- and calls people like you and me un-American.

But it's okay, because George W. Bush assured me that Alito and Roberts would prevent SCOTUS from turning into an idealogical, activist court.

In the past 3 days the Supreme Court has limited students' rights to free speech, eased restrictions on PAC 'campaign' ads at election time, gave developers more rights than endangered species, and now have gutted Brown v. Board of Education.

Say good-bye to Roe v. Wade.

And who do you think the court will side with when the White House claims executive privilege in the upcoming legal showdown over Congressional subpoenas?

Reading the news today made me feel worse than I have felt in a long time. The only viable option in my mind is to riot in the streets, gather millions and millions of people to come together and take their country back. That and pray for a speedy end to the lives of Alito, Scalia, and Roberts- 'cause those fuckers are there for life.

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 21:10:44 GMT

Quick quiz, everybody. To which branch of government does the Vice President belong?

A) Executive
B) Judicial
C) Legislative

(Bonus points if you can also name the branch to which the President belongs!)

Click below for the answer:
http://thinkprogress.org/2007/06/22/wh-order/

Good news and reason to Hope

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 22:50:11 GMT

Mandatory Al Gore post. It had been a couple of days. And I do not want my enthusiasm to wane, nor do I want to stop putting these images in front of the limited circle of influence at my disposal.

First:
Watch Al Gore remove all doubt about a lack of charisma.

Then:
Read about the good news, good news for the future.

If he wins a Nobel Peace Prize in October I predict he gets 60+% of the vote. Particularly against a ghoul like Giuliani.

Edit:
Also check out this fascinating article about the current energy bill. Fascinating. Obama's cred on the environment will take a shot from this. I wonder who he'd look good standing next to...

Al Gore haunts my dreams...

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 16:06:37 GMT

in a good way! haHA!

Seriously. I had a dream that I was telling 3 old ladies to read The Assault on Reason. And you know what? They were all really nice about it. One of the old ladies said she'd already read it, and was impressed I had done the same.

Man oh man, my poor brain. The only thing I let it think about are Olive Twist at Berkeley Rep. and Al Gore running for president. Which, in case you're wondering- I would support.

I had an awesome day yesterday after rehearsal. Two of my fellow understudies and I went to Jupiter to get a beer. One of the guys was, like myself, a reformed Republican who needed only the presidency of George W. Bush to see the error of his ways. After hearing his opinion on what has gone wrong in our country and what he hoped to see happen in the future I, naturally, told him to read Al Gore's book, The Assault on Reason. His response, swear to God, was, "Hearing you talk about it, I kinda want to. But I could never tell my dad." How hilariously depressing is that? The sick thing is, I feel the exact same way.

I told Mary this, and I stand by it. I wish I were rich so I could buy dozens of copies of The Assault on Reason and give them to anybody who agrees to read it. I think I may buy just one and give it to the understudy friend of mine mentioned above. It would bring me such joy to do so, but such financial ruin...

WATCH THIS - MAKE OTHERS WATCH IT

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:43:03 GMT

Followed by...

DO IT!

Democratic New Hampshire Debate

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 01:36:05 GMT

Quick first impression, more to come after people settle and the newspapers come out tomorrow:

Put a podium in front of Obama and it is a sight to behold. I think he was quite impressive in the first hour. Still, however, has no solid plan outside of health care.

Clinton was outstanding once they switched to the seated format. When speaking conversationally she is very engaging, even on issues where I feel she's being too parse-y and robotic.

John Edward's might have sunk his campaign tonight. He was smarmy, desperate, and a little bit rude. The next president will require the force to speak the courage of their convictions, not the tenacity to call out any person with whom they have a political quabble.

Joe Biden was impressive. He might have beat Bill Richardson out of the "Top 4," because he really outshone the Governor. But he needs to stop yelling, seriously. He'll get Dean-ed out of the race if he doesn't learn to inject passion into his comments without raising his voice.

Get Gravel, Kucinich, and Dodd off of the stage. I even kind of like Dodd, but he's had his say. Get him off the stage. None of them have a shot at the Presidency or the Vice Presidency and can kindly move along.

Bottom line is Clinton impressed me but I still don't like her. Obama did not impress me but I still want to hear more. Edwards lost his shot at another run for the Vice Presidency, and deservedly.

I still think the most qualified candidate is Al Gore. The impassioned arguments in his book show the fundamental flaws in Hillary's unequivocal political pandering. Would she do a good job? Probably. But after the damage done to our country, our Constitution, and our reputation around the world we need to elect someone with the power to truly alter our nation's trajectory for the better. After reading The Assault on Reason I had no doubt that person is Al Gore. I'm hoping Clinton or Obama will step-up as the race gets closer to the primaries... or Al Gore runs and I can actually get involved with a candidate for whom I'd run into a wall.

Oh my God, too funny

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Thu, 31 May 2007 19:43:36 GMT

Click and take a tour of joy:

http://welcome-to-pottersville.blogspot.com/2007/03/fox-news-at-its-finest.html

Heart Sick and Crushed

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Wed, 30 May 2007 16:07:15 GMT

I HAVE RIDDEN THE MIGHTY MOON WORM!

jeffcmoran@gmail.com — Tue, 29 May 2007 19:08:51 GMT

Read it:

And then make it happen:

http://www.algore.org/

The above possibility is one of the few shards of hope I am able to cling to in spite of the shocking degradation of our country.